Friday, September 24, 2010

Robert and the Wii

Robert banged on the screen door muttering "Oh shut up..." to the windchimes.

"I'll be right there! I'll be right there!" Jane yelled. Robert heard her feet patter on the floor before she kicked the screen open yelling "Come in!" before she dashed away.

Robert saw why she was rushing. Jane was in the middle of playing Wii Fit. No, Wii Fit PLUS. Same a Wii Fit, but with some additional games. Home video games puzzled him.

He had liked video game when they first came out. The big pieces of machinery all lined up in arcades. It was a social event, going to the arcade. Meeting up with people, watching the high scorers, talking to the girls who were really way too young to be there but they were the only ones who ever showed up.

He'd liked the guys who had white skin because they never went outside. They spent all their time in the dimness of the arcade with their friends. They wrote out elaborate cheat sheets on notebook paper and sold them. Sitting outside later, drinking Cokes and discussing what went right or what went wrong that day.

"Man, I think I sprained my wrist wacking off. Messed me up today." Robert remembered one of the guys saying. A conversation followed about techniques that preserved the workings of one's lower arms but yielded the maximum amount of pleasure. Debate about lotion versus baby oil versus petroleum jelly followed.

The arcade was a social thing.

The movies had been social too. It used to be you got a lot of bang for your buck. A serial, a cartoon, a newsreel and sometimes a live show all came before the feature. People got dressed up. An usher would show to you to a velvet covered seat. You could buy popcorn, but that was all. There were no whole meals served at the movies. You had to either eat at home or go out afterwards. It was an event, going to the movies.

Robert felt that the more technology advanced the more humans became disconnected from each other. You played video games at home. You watched movies at home. You could work from home, do your banking from home, shop from home, go to school from home.

With the exception of going out for groceries there was no reason to ever leave the house. Until the 1990's, those people had been known as "crazy". Now, they were "lucky".

"What are you doing Jane?"

Jane was stepping in place on the the plastic board, holding the controller horizontally in both hands. "I'm doing the bike ride. I have to find the last checkpoint and then I can finish. Look! I've done almost a mile!"

"Uh, why don't you just go for a bike ride?"

"Because I can't do these big jumps on my bike."

"You're not taking big jumps. You're standing on a plastic board yelling 'whoo hoo'." Robert told her.

"We can play bowling too. Let's do that later."

"Why don't we just go bowling? I have my shoes and my ball at my place."

"Because the ball's too heavy. We might hurt ourselves. Besides, it's loud and all that." Jane was intently focused on stepping in place as quickly as she could.

"Come on. Let's put together a picnic and ride up to the lake. It's beautiful today and we can watch the sunset."

"I'm having fun." Jane leaned, making her pretend bike turn.

"And the surgeon general wonders why people are fat." Robert grumped.

That was another thing that confused him. How complicated being sick had become. It used to be simple. You got sick, you called the doctor, he came to your house. Even if you had no money he'd come to your house and take care of you anyway. He gave you your medicine, or he'd call the pharmacist who would get your medicine ready and send a delivery boy to your house. If you had money you paid them. If you couldn't you gave the doctor a chicken or whatever you had. Doctors had tended to be fat based on all the food they received in exchange for services. If they lady of the house was well, she'd invite the doctor to stay for dinner or supper and he'd usually take her up on that offer

First of all, if you were sick and contagious, why did you have to leave your house to sit in a room with a bunch of other people and make them all sick too? During the H1N1 outbreak, children had been required to go to a triage center to be diagnosed with H1N1 and told to stay home.

Women who'd had c-sections and told to stay in bed had to get up and go to the doctor's office to have their incisions checked. It made no sense.

If you were sick you had to find a doctor to see you and you had to pay cash up front if you didn't have insurance. Insurance boggled Robert's mind. So, you paid the insurance company, like putting money into a savings account in case you got sick. But then the insurance company could tell you that they wouldn't pay the doctor if they thought you didn't need it. But, wasn't it technically your money?

If you went to the emergency room, they asked if you had insurance and treated you based on your coverage. Then you got a bill for many thousands of dollars. If you couldn't pay it they'd eventually just take payments out of your paycheck.

You had to go to the pharmacy yourself, further spreading sickness. And you had to pay them up front. He understood there were people not taking medications because they couldn't afford it.

He thought vaccinations were a great thing. You could keep a person from getting polio or measles? Illnesses that could kill you, paralyze you or cause brain damage? Sounded like a good deal to him. But now he heard parents stating they wouldn't not vaccinate their children because they didn't trust the drugs. But those same parents embraced antibiotics. So did they trust the drugs or didn't they? He couldn't keep it all straight.

"What's your problem?" Jane wanted to know.

"My problem is that's it's a gorgeous day and you are here in the dark pretending to ride a bike instead of actually riding your bike. You want to pretend to bowl instead of actually bowling. This is just weird. You want to know why people are fat? Because they eat a lot and then sit on their ass all day. Because kids aren't allowed to go outside. Shit, kids pack together and keep an eye on each other! Let them run through the fucking streets and get dirty! I really hate this part of this century. Nobody talks to each other! Everything is dangerous! Don't go outside! Don't talk to anybody!
Do what you want. *I* am going to go ride my bike." Robert yanked open the door, slammed it behind him and then pedaled away .

Jane turned off the Wii and went out to weed the garden until he came back. He was right, but she wasn't willing to admit it in front of him.

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