Friday, September 24, 2010

The cats take action

Jane's friend Monica was visiting with her baby girl Sally. Sally was a fat and happy baby who shrieked and waved her arms when something delighted her. And Sally found the world a delightful place.

Sally's dad liked to tote her along to the guitar store where he bought strings. One of the guys who worked there had a shaved head except for two tufts of hair that were spiked up to look like horns. Whenever Sally saw his funny haircut she screamed and waved her arms, bouncing up and down in the back carrier she rode in, banging her dad on the head in her enthusiasm for life.

Whenever Monica and Sally came to visit, Sally would actually hold her breath, waiting for the windchimes to play. When they did, she screamed and waved her arms around. On these occasions, she would whap her mom in the face as she tried to juggle baby and bags while dodging cats.

Sally also loved the cats at Jane's house. She was currently looking out the front screen door at the felines on the porch, screaming and banging on the screen. When Sally banged on the screen with her pudgy arms, the screen didn't open. It stayed shut tight, keeping the baby from falling out of the house. She'd been sitting there, watching the cats come up one by one to examine her through the screen for the better part of twenty minutes.

The cats were doing a fine job of keeping Sally occupied. They hunched their backs and made themselves puffed up, danced around or batted at her nose that was pressed against the mesh. All of this made her scream and laugh and bounce up and down.

Sally was dressed in a diaper and a cotton onesie today. She would protest when put into any other clothes so her mom had given up the battle to stuff her into any of the dresses the grandmother's sent. This onsie had been tie-dyed green by Jane. Drool dripped down Sally's chins, coming from the tooth she had coming in.

Jane and Monica sat on the couch talking about not much of anything while Jane buffed Monica's nails. They'd met in the second grade and had been fast friends every since. Monica and her boyfriend, the father of her love child Monica liked to say, had taken dinner at Jane's house regularly. Jane had helped paint Sally's nursery.

Monica had taken the changes in Jane's life in stride. Her response to everything new had been "Wow. Neat. Did you see the new issue of Real Simple? Real Simple my ass, I couldn't cook that quinoa salad." or words to that effect. The first words were always 'wow. neat.' with a change of subject right afterwards.

And Monica never came to Jane asking for card readings or teas. Monica came over to help can tomatoes or make jam. She did take as much honey as she wanted because she liked honey on her toast in the morning.

Monica had made the mistake of bringing her chihuahua over once. They'd left again almost right away since the cats had teased the dog mercilessly through the screen. Sally thought this was the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen. While Monica and Jane had a high tolerance for background noise, that high pitched barking combined with the high pitched shrieking along with the cats screeching outside had been just too much. They'd shouted to each other they'd try again next week.

Monica had brought her latest attempt at crocheting. She didn't count stitches so her blankets turned out uneven but she gave them to her pregnant friends anyway. Her latest was no exception. Narrower at one end. Some stitches tight and some loose, but made of a wonderfully soft yarn that would be perfect for a new baby.

The women drank tea, chatted and watched Sally watching the cats. Eventually, Sally remembered she was hungry. She blew raspberries until her mom picked her up and gave her a Zweibak cookie. While she ate she grunted and smeared her hands with cookie mush. She had chew on a frozen banana in a little mesh bag before drinking a bottle. Afterwards, her mom cleaned out the crevices under her chins and put her back on the floor to watch out the screen some more.

Thirty minutes later Sally became tired and cross. Monica stood up, "Oops, the queen says it's time to go. Want to get together next Thursday?"

"I thought you had Mommy and Me class on Thursday."

"I was switched to Monday Wednesday. And her tooth should have cut through by then so she won't have all that gross slime on her face." Monica bent her knees to lift up her daughter. Sally had knocked out her grandmother's back once. Now Grandma Sara wouldn't pick her up off the floor.

Jane handed Monica her diaper bag. Monica balanced Sally on her hip while she swung her bag on her shoulder. Before opening the screen door.

As soon as the door swung open one of the cats ran forward and growled, it's back arched up.

"Oh, please." Jane said firmly, "Cut it out and get off my porch." She kicked out at it with her bare foot. The cat swiped at her with it claws out, hissing and spitting.

Monica put a hand up to Sally's face. "Whoa. They've never done that before."

Another of the cats ran up and growled as well. When Jane tried to scat them a second time, two more joined the first pair.

Monica laughed nervously and said "We're out numbered Janie."

"Let's try the back door." Jane went through the kitchen, but was met by yowling cats there as well.

"Monica, this is weird. Let's put Sally down on my bed and we'll wait and see what they do."

Before they could take Sally in the other room, they heard a screech outside.

An old Honda Accord came around the corner entirely too fast and slammed into Monica's car, squarely hitting the driver's side door. Since Monica and Jane had the habit of talking over the roof of the car for a while, Monica would have been standing in between the car body and the driver's side door, bouncing it back and forth with her foot.

Monica and Jane looked at each other. Monica handed the baby to Jane before running outside and throwing up over the side of the porch. Jane reached into her apron pocket for her phone.

The cats were nowhere to be seen.

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