Robert found Jane in the backyard smoking the bee boxes with the regular population of cats. They didn't belong to anyone in particular, they just showed up to lounge in the trees in the backyard or drape themselves on the porch. Jane didn't feed them or let them inside. She always told them sternly to stay away from her whenever she ventured outdoors.
They would line up and watch whatever she was doing until she turned and said “Stop STARING you freaky things!” Then the cats would wander away to hunt for mice or lay in the grass.
They had kittens in the crawl space under the house. They clawed the trees. They ate the grass when they felt sick. They threw up hairballs on the mat outside the back door and the front door. They shat in the garden and fought in the middle of the night.
Jane always wanted them to go away, but they never did
Robert stooped to pet a particularly friendly calico he liked while he waited for Jane to finish with the smoker. Once she had that put away he'd help her pull up the slats to harvest the honey.
She headed for the back steps with her smoker. “Oh Jesus, don't encourage them! What's wrong with you?”
Robert sat down on the grass and pulled up a long blade to use as a cat toy. “I like cats. I like all these cats around. It's neat. If you're in a bad mood I can come out here and get a little affection.”
“I know, you come in covered in cat hair and make me sneeze.” Jane said taking the netting off her wide brimmed hat. That was another thing. Jane was allergic to cats.
The calico rolled over to have her tummy rubbed. Robert obliged and made little kissin noises. “Izzum you a puddin'? Yes you is! Youz a widdle puddums. “ he cooed to the kitty.
“You're phone's ringing.” he stated. “Sounds like it's in your pocket.”
Jane looked down at her apron. “Oh no.” She reached her hand inside and rooted around. Out came an empty soda can, a pair of gardening shears, a spool of thread, a tampon, a balled up tissue, a pair of knitting needles and still the phone beeped cheerfully. Robert leaned back against the tree, amused by the whole production. The calico rubbed against his hand purring.
As Jane tossed things out of her pocket the other cats ran up to see what was going on. They lined up in front of the toilet planters and twitched their ears.
“DANG it!” Jane held her pocket open and reached her hand in halfway to her elbow. The fabric bulged and rippled and she tried to find her phone.
“Great, it's caught on something.” she pursed her lips and pulled.
Robert leaned against one of the trees. “Don't you ever clean that thing out? It would make things easier on you.”
Jane's hand flew out of the pocket, the phone clutched in her fingers. She pushed a button, “Hello?....Hi mom.”
Robert threw his head back and laughed. The cats scattered at the sound.
They would line up and watch whatever she was doing until she turned and said “Stop STARING you freaky things!” Then the cats would wander away to hunt for mice or lay in the grass.
They had kittens in the crawl space under the house. They clawed the trees. They ate the grass when they felt sick. They threw up hairballs on the mat outside the back door and the front door. They shat in the garden and fought in the middle of the night.
Jane always wanted them to go away, but they never did
Robert stooped to pet a particularly friendly calico he liked while he waited for Jane to finish with the smoker. Once she had that put away he'd help her pull up the slats to harvest the honey.
She headed for the back steps with her smoker. “Oh Jesus, don't encourage them! What's wrong with you?”
Robert sat down on the grass and pulled up a long blade to use as a cat toy. “I like cats. I like all these cats around. It's neat. If you're in a bad mood I can come out here and get a little affection.”
“I know, you come in covered in cat hair and make me sneeze.” Jane said taking the netting off her wide brimmed hat. That was another thing. Jane was allergic to cats.
The calico rolled over to have her tummy rubbed. Robert obliged and made little kissin noises. “Izzum you a puddin'? Yes you is! Youz a widdle puddums. “ he cooed to the kitty.
“You're phone's ringing.” he stated. “Sounds like it's in your pocket.”
Jane looked down at her apron. “Oh no.” She reached her hand inside and rooted around. Out came an empty soda can, a pair of gardening shears, a spool of thread, a tampon, a balled up tissue, a pair of knitting needles and still the phone beeped cheerfully. Robert leaned back against the tree, amused by the whole production. The calico rubbed against his hand purring.
As Jane tossed things out of her pocket the other cats ran up to see what was going on. They lined up in front of the toilet planters and twitched their ears.
“DANG it!” Jane held her pocket open and reached her hand in halfway to her elbow. The fabric bulged and rippled and she tried to find her phone.
“Great, it's caught on something.” she pursed her lips and pulled.
Robert leaned against one of the trees. “Don't you ever clean that thing out? It would make things easier on you.”
Jane's hand flew out of the pocket, the phone clutched in her fingers. She pushed a button, “Hello?....Hi mom.”
Robert threw his head back and laughed. The cats scattered at the sound.
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